Co-Parenting Chronicles: The Kid Commentary (Part 2)
Kids don’t mean to stir the pot. They just…report the news. Usually at the worst possible time.
Picture this:
Your child, grinning innocently, says: “Dad says you don’t iron clothes.”
Five minutes later, “Mom says you don’t even own a calendar.”
Congratulations…you’ve just been roasted by your own child.
The Story
Children are natural observers and unfiltered messengers. They don’t come with a “how will this land emotionally?” filter. So when they repeat what they’ve heard, it can sting—because it’s usually said without context.
As a co-parent and step-parent, I’ve been on both ends of this. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s frustrating, and sometimes it’s a reminder that kids shouldn’t have to be the go-between.
The Lesson
When kids drop commentary from the “other house,” it’s rarely about you. It’s about them trying to process the two worlds they live in.
Your best response? Neutrality.
Don’t defend.
Don’t retaliate.
Don’t make your child feel like they’re carrying a message between camps.
Survival Tip
Try humor and honesty, without the bite. For example:
“You’re right, I don’t iron. Wrinkles are my style.”
or
“Yeah, I forget things sometimes. That’s why we use the calendar app.”
It acknowledges the comment without turning your child into the messenger or making them feel like they need to pick sides.
Why It Matters
Every time you respond calmly to “kid commentary,” you teach your child they don’t have to manage the tension between two parents. That is not their job. Neutral, light responses lift the burden from their shoulders.
Final Thought
Co-parenting isn’t just about how you deal with your ex—it’s about how you protect your child from carrying conflict. When you can smile, laugh, and let the commentary pass, you show your kids that even if their parents don’t always agree, they’re still safe in both worlds.
By Jessica Oliver, LCSW | Founder, Peaceful Pastures Ranch & Calm in Chaos
About the Author
Jessica Oliver, LCSW, is a trauma therapist, hypnotherapist, and Florida Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator. She is the founder of Peaceful Pastures Therapy and Calm in Chaos Mediation. Her work bridges the gap between emotional healing and legal conflict resolution, helping individuals and families navigate anxiety, trauma, and transition with compassion, clarity, and grounded tools.
🔗 www.peacefulpasturesranch.org
🔗 www.calminchaos.net
